


Sometime After Midnight.

by fearless_seas



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-07-25 13:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7534495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fearless_seas/pseuds/fearless_seas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benjamin arrived at the bar a little past midnight. There was a broiling present of Caleb beside him as he strolled in long steps. His hands felt warm where they were collected, as if Caleb was there to hold his hand, to slip his hands into Ben’s back pockets, to… He was here.</p><p>         A local bar Ben hadn’t been to in a long while. Everything, and anything reminded him of Caleb. The music, the sweet sound of the guitar plucking out a melancholy tune, causing Ben to drum out a beat onto the counter; one that Caleb would nod his head in time to. For the years they were together- this was their place. Ben breathed in, taking in the grimy scent in the air, Caleb’s scent, before- crossing from the door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And it starts, sometime around midnight.

**Author's Note:**

> I hate flying, and I was flying on a plane. There was bad turbulence and I was on the verge of a panic attack. Then Sometime After Midnight came on shuffle and I thought of her. Everything was then Okay. I thought hey- let's turn this into a Tallster fanfic.

_And it starts_

_Sometime around midnight_

  
         There was a chill in the breeze, a moment in the wind. Words caught behind his teeth, baring idle tongues. The haze presented for the past three weeks had left him non correspondent and his sane mind was rejected. There had been not a plan, those three weeks he had held himself together. Stitching up the wounds in his heart, mending the broken in his soul. A blockade in himself filtered out the emotions, treating them as common burdens.  It was all just a haze. His senses were dulled, his complexion fell, he did not feel the fist on his heart, he could not hear the chiming of his phone, he could not read the _I’m Sorry’s_. _Could he not hear them, or did he just not listen?_ For three weeks the messages persisted, the calls, the voice mails left Ben monotonous, perished. The heartfelt words of apology left bitter tastes on his perception. _It was all okay._ He lied.

         He would rise with the sun, run in the morning as he always did, the high would never come and he was left plainly with aching muscles and no draft in his alveolus. He ordained to his college classes, he exited the lecture room unlearned, his intellect reciprocated no further. He strolled down the block and eat a salad for lunch, ordered a coffee, one that he would never drink. The taste of the brown liquid never passed his lips, never glissading down his throat, the careful avoidance of anything _Caleb_. He would go to work immediately after school, but he fumbled, tripped and his person was shaky- unable to remember quite how to work. All while still believing the lie that he was okay.

         Ben grimaced at these subtle innuendos that transformed themselves into the sonnet banquet of _Caleb_. It was a simple schedule, one that Ben kept consistent and strict. Caleb was the stable correspondent in his livelihood, that was gone and Ben struggled, forgotten and was grasping for anything to cling a stronghold upon. It was simple, the three weeks of a fallen breakup screeching a halt on himself. His two weeks of dulled senses and feelings left un-felt- immediately came to a halt. In a matter of sure moments, he was left bent.

         It was another day at Yale, the students buzzed with the reminder of Spring Break drawing near. The top of his class, it didn’t surpass an ordeal if Ben missed a few minutes to provide aid towards his professor. His professor would often call upon him to collect papers from the printer, to stay after class to help grade papers. Ben never minded, although he had often flatly denied his request on the matter of getting to Caleb quicker. It gave him a larger boost than the rest of the students. Extra grading points. His teacher enjoyed his company. Caleb got jealous at that. 

         Ben’s sneakers squeaked against the empty hallway towards the printer. He then waited- he did not feel patient nor impatient, he did not apprehend how he perceived anymore, he had no feeling. The last paper neatly slotted itself from the deposit of the printer and Ben reached over, pulling the paper from the outer shell, warm in his hands. Curios, he began to walk, striding back to his course holding the papers. He flipped them around and pulled open the first paper of the pamphlet. The heels of his shoes clicked against the vacant hallway, a rare amorous occasion, the halls of Yale usually packed to the brim, the throng of smothering student bodies packed against each other. He continued to stroll back, his eyes scanning against the bolded text, printed into the top of the page.

_Caleb Blood Smith._

His eyes faltered, beginning to blur and he discontinuated his poignant stance, frozen stiff, unable to grouse a sole word, sentences were now scarse. Mask a single streak of emotion. There was a laggard pause in the time around him. He dropped the stack of papers, fluttering, dancing to the floor, tears making their way down Ben’s cheeks in fragmentary silhouettes, etching themselves into his skin like nimble scars. And just like that, Caleb was back again; ever present in his discombobulated mind.

         He didn’t bother rearranging the papers, with convulsing fingers, shoved them towards his teacher then through the tears commencing to brim his eyes, he shouldered his bag and left. His teacher called towards him- a tone he had never used before with him. But Ben was already out the door with tear stained cheeks.

____________________

         Benjamin arrived at the bar a little past midnight. Preferring to parade the avenues drunkenly, instead of paying the pricey cab fee. There was a broiling present of Caleb beside him as he strolled in long steps, his head facing the cement, hands buried abysmal in his pockets. His hands felt warm where they were collected, as if Caleb was there to hold his hand, to slip his hands into Ben’s back pockets, to… he terminated his scrutiny, observing up at the illuminating sign. He was here.

         It was a local bar Benjamin hadn’t been to in a long while. The place held too many sweet memories, too many compilations. Everything, and anything reminded him of Caleb. From the white paper napkins that Caleb wrote him notes on and that Ben exchanged with song lyrics; peanuts they’d snack on; Caleb would chew with his mouth open to create a rise out of Ben, they were presented in wooden bowls across the counter. The music, the sweet sound of the guitar plucking out a melancholy tune, causing Ben to drum out a beat onto the counter; one that Caleb would nod his head in time to. The shuffling of feet on the dance floor, for the years they were together- this was _their_ place. Ben breathed in, taking in the grimy scent in the air, Caleb’s scent, before- crossing from the door.

____________________

        “You know you could just talk to me?” Ben elevated an eyebrow, slightly amused as he watched his boyfriend stick a tongue out of the corner of his mouth and write in a cheap black pen on a damp paper napkin. It had been previously used to wipe up the Beer that Caleb had spit up all over the counter. Ben contributed to that joke.

        Caleb looked pleased with himself, a smile snaking it’s way onto his face, lighting up his cheeks; a firm shine on his lips. Attempting to make up for the embarrassment of Ben having to scrub alcohol out of Caleb’s jacket. Ben did not meet his eyes as Caleb slid the napkin triumphantly over towards Ben. He tilted his neck, reading the ink lightly jotted down on the brown faded sheet.

_But it’s more romantic this way_

        Ben let out a light chuckle and shook his head, putting his head down and blushing slightly. There was a grin imprinted on his mood- he attempted to suppress the rising corners of his mouth up ever so slightly. Caleb reached over, boosting a hand up to Ben’s cheek, marking deep into his blue eyes as he poked, prodding the dimple that was indented on Ben’s cheek bone. Caleb left warmth on his cheek, and he leaned into the touch, Caleb and then turned away, flipping over the napkin to start blank. Ben sighed at the lost. 

         _Ur mouth is soooo cute when you smile_

         Ben's already blemished face grew to crimson at the words and bit the inside of his pink lip trying to hide the embarrassment Caleb had disposed upon him. He scooted adjacent to Caleb’s bar stool, jerking it closer, the legs on the chair scraping against the sticky ground. Ben inclined his head on his curved elbow, reposing on the palm of his hand. “That’s not the only thing this mouth can do” he bantered, attempting to break Caleb's act of the evening, lolling his cranium to one side and giving a sly remark.

         Caleb’s chest rose, as if he was a peacock fluffing himself out and he widened his eyes, allowing his lips to part slightly showing his teeth in avidity. He soon shook his head, brushing off the grin. He picked up the pen- stolen from the bartender, who they were both unable to make out his name- and started writing on a new napkin.

         _trying to break me Benny it not gonna work_

        Caleb proudly presented his writing, crossing his hands over his chest and puckering out a lip in distaste. Ben almost decided to grammar correct him, flinching at the incorrect, but decided against it. Across the dance floor and light brawl broke out and Caleb’s attention was drawn towards the crowd pulsating around the two. Ben objected to the loss of eyes and fingered Caleb’s jaw, nails pressed in his neck, extracting his attention back toward Ben. Caleb’s soon came through, gaze didn’t linger. Ben slid his open legs toward Caleb, creating contact with both of their thighs. Caleb’s introspection fell down, his pupils dilated, and he licked his bottom lip seductively. Although Ben played his cards well, maintaining a calm persona, his heart was thumping rocky and snappy, in time with the bass strangling out a mass of messy cords.

         “Are you sure, that I can’t break you?” Ben teased, stretching out, brushing his fingers lightly over Caleb’s knee cap. Caleb swayed his head and his legs fell agape, almost as if Caleb didn’t mean it. Ben could see his tenacious act was dawning to falter and dawning, shuffling a hand higher up on his leg, reaching the top of his thigh.

         “You sure, that I can’t break you?” Ben pursed his lips, his stomach bubbled, his eyebrows were stitched together nudging, and saw Caleb’s face oscillating radiant red, hidden underneath his beard. Caleb swallowed the knot forming in the back of his throat and leaned an elbow against the counter, watching Ben suspiciously to see if he would continue.

         Caleb’s chest tightened, his stomach becoming rigid and his steady breathing accelerated, growing excited, his chest ascending and tottering as Ben attained the top of hip bone. He let his hand idle there, cradling his hip through his jeans, rotating it slightly and rubbing his thumb over the jean loops. Ben’s eyes shifted, switching confidently between the corners of Caleb’s mouth, hidden by a mangy beard, and his hand advancing up Caleb’s thigh. Ben did not waste anytime before his hand progressed, swiping across the loops of his belt, to his belt buckle.

         “Are you sure that I can’t break you?” Ben spoke in a voice like silk, not allowing the volume to grow higher than a whisper. He was obviously conquering and Caleb let out a stubborn grunt in reply, neither cared if anybody was alert of them. Caleb could feel the ambiance on his midriff, a strain, the sensations, as his pants grew tighter around his waist.

         Ben hindered his advancements, taking lead and pausing, waiting for Caleb’s response. Stubbornly, Caleb let out a grunt that was louder than it should have been, and Ben tried not to allow his face to burn with embarrassment as the bartender cast them a disgruntled expression, finishing off the tap of beer and turning his heels away. Ben then accelerated, the challenge that he had excepted was ever present in his smoky air. It was a challenge, that Ben was not going to let Caleb win. Benjamin made it towards where he had hankered to be, his hand to be in the first place, Caleb didn’t stop him, Caleb didn’t want him to stop. Ben’s fingers left a trace of fire across his skin, and the tension wrapped them both into a race of eye contact, eyes that never left each other's sight. The closing space between them filling with ominous tension growing like wildfire.

          _Faster_ , Caleb craved to write it down, but his hands were sweating too much, his fingers twitched and he couldn’t even remember how to write or what a pen even looked like while Ben’s hands fondled him. A deeper tension as Caleb stalled impatiently, awaiting the touch that was coming all too slow. The words filling his mouth, vibrating off his tongue. _Faster_ , he mouthed gingerly, luckily Ben did not audit as he furrowed his brows going the same pace he was previously. Almost as if Ben yearned for Caleb to beg. Ben memorized the sun kisses on his cheeks, the sweet sensitive spots on his neck, the ones that made him collapse and forget the world around him.

          A moan, a vociferous moan at that, pressured past his lips, falling out of his mouth like candy as Ben’s nimble nails scratched at his zipper. The music was loud enough to where nobody witnessed and they could carry on with their _"business"_ undisturbed. Ben vacillated his touch to the side, less handling then was giving before and Caleb almost felt disappointed as he did not feel Ben’s carom of itching fingers against his tight bulge like he was expecting, anticipating lustfully.

         Instead he lifted open an eyelid, adjusting to the shining lights, the multicolored bar lights glimmering against Ben’s pronounced cheek bones. Ben rotated his hand slowly to where his palm was facing straight up. It slid easily underneath Caleb’s loose jointed grind against the chair. His hand fell underneath his tight bulge, and he cupped a hand around it, rubbing it up and down.

         “You’re hard” Ben cocked an eyebrow, slightly amused at the situation, almost mocking. A hand maneuvered itself underneath to graze Caleb’s ass, squeezing and causing Caleb to whine, mounting himself up, white knuckling the edge of the seat. Opening himself and burying his head in Ben’s chest, sinking his nose into his shirt and breathing in _his_ scent. Caleb didn’t allow the pressure any longer and leaped off the bar seat, grabbing Ben by the scruff of his collar and leading him towards the bathroom in the back.

         Caleb burst in, quickly throwing his head rapidly from side to side, scanning for others. Before pushing Ben into a vacant stall, in the back of the bathroom, not bothering to fasten the lock on the door _(People would obvious hear and already know it was occupied)_. Ben was taken back at first and laid sprawled out against the back wall, making sure he didn’t touch the toilet seat. Ben and his orbs mocked Caleb’s aphrodisia, with an eyebrow arching his forehead to top it all off.

         Caleb flurried around, bending his knees and giving Ben a look of a lion about to pounce on his prey. Their lips made contact, it didn't take long till they could taste each other on their tongues. Caleb balled the front of his shirt with his fists, pulling him down, closer. Ben slipped a hand underneath his shirt, running a hand over Caleb’s sharp shoulder blades. Caleb in turn, also pulled up on his shirt, tweaking his nipples lightly causing Ben to gasp, as Caleb ran his rough hands over the smooth skin of Ben’s chest. He lightly dabbed, skinning the tips of his fingers over Ben’s right shoulder. Delicately rubbing the area, remembering how he almost lost him.

         Caleb left Ben room to breath and Ben’s chest heaved, panting for available air to breath, “I guess- I made you break” Ben idolized his sentences, giving him a smug smile. Caleb sucked on his neck, licking the salt on his collar bone. 

          “Shut up and fuck me, Ben”.


	2. Chapter Two | Or at least that's when you loose yourself, for a minute or two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is lost. He wants to be found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter about two months ago and then about a month and a half ago I edited and rewrote this entire chapter. It ended up at 7,000 words. Then of course, my google drive fucked me over and rebooted the entire thing. I lost this chapter and many of my other plans. After that, I lost all motivation for this story until today. I sincerely apologize for how terrible this chapter is, I lost all motivation for this chapter. But, it'll be better next chapter. 
> 
> \- Presley.

__ _ Or at least that's when you lose yourself _

_ For a minute or two _

         There was a clear irritation to Ben’s ears as he started out into the bar. His mind took a shuttle back ride, as his footing led him in the steps. The same steps Ben would guide when he himself made his way out into the bar, Caleb would cling to his side, his hands buried in Ben’s back pockets. Holding him close, as if he was never going to ever let go.  _ But he did _ , the mind of a lost soldier chorale back and he burrowed his neck into his sweater, hiding from his scrutiny. 

         Ben shook the dismal apprehensions from his complex, weaving his way throughout the throng of smothering and pulsating people crowding the dance floor. Quickly muttering out an, “Excuse me… Pardon… Sorry…” every couple of seconds. The bass from the stage pounded in his ear drums and his ears desperately wished for release- it never came. Ben furrowed his eyebrows and the faces in the crowd slowed. Blurring under his vision, all he could see was Caleb, mind swimming and brown eyes danced in the dim lights above. Remembering in his cortex,  the way Caleb would poke his side jokingly.

_          “You’re too polite, Benny”, shaking his head before taking another sip of his beer. _

_   “Well” Ben would counter, throwing an arm around Caleb’s shoulders, pulling him closer to his side. “It must not be that big of a problem, if you’re still here” his voice grew low, husky and he noticed the way goosebumps rose on Caleb’s arms, pin pricking in reaction to the hot breath on his cheek. _

         Ben was thrown out of his trance when his face smashed into contact with someone’s shoulder. He was propelled back and in a spout of irritability he speculated down to the solid form, only to find his eyes falling up, closer to the ceiling. Caleb always was jealous of his height, he lov _ed_ his tall boyfriend. The taller male in front of him, grunted out a retort of anger and Ben felt his face flush, rubbing his sore nose inspecting for any sign of blood; to his luck, there was none and his pressed a tender finger to his cheek. He put his gaze down, threading his way towards the bartender, avoiding eye contact with everybody. 

         The music was loud, not vociferous enough to where you couldn’t hear a conversation happening right before your face. There was a faint scent of cigarette smoke lingering in the air around him. He cringed at the smell and stopped breathing for a moment. The smoke wisped it’s way, spiraling in the air. The cigarette smoke soon smelled like Caleb. The smoke clung to his skin, thick gray air trailing down his throat magnetically, his eyes closed unknowingly, shrouding him in darkness and chest reverberated up as he breathed in a large breath. Soaking the scent into his bones, collecting the mixture onto his clothing. The fibers set on fire, Caleb’s touch was so warm, so very warm. Fire on his skin as he blew on Ben’s hands. 

         Whenever Caleb offered him a cigarette from the packet he only used once every month, Ben would accept, not wanting Caleb to be alone. They would light each other’s cigarettes with green tipped matches and watch as the sun set beyond in the horizon from the balcony. 

         Most of the bar stools were empty, Ben easily slid himself into one of the seats and glimpsing to his right and then to his left. His eyes scanning the empty seats. Down the row of built in stools to his far left, around the bend until the two lone seats perfect around the curve to where the bartender couldn’t see. There was still visage that slithered it’s way into Ben’s subconscious. Across the those empty seats, he could see the image of Caleb, delightful and secretly slipping a hand underneath the waistband of Ben's blue jeans. The other's face turned bright red, not pushing his hand away and pretending that he didn’t want it there. 

         The image faded like watercolors, blending together and giving him reality. Ben felt a deep stab in his chest, and tight fist on his heart. His stomach lurched, he felt sick. He waved over the bartender, he side eyed him and Ben casually in his mind, admired the braid curled cascading down his back. Ben wondered if he did it himself, and felt his own messy ponytail at the base of his neck fibers sting. It was always Caleb who’s dull fingertips scraped along the scalp of his head. He tugged gently the hairs into place, setting them with a silky dark green ribbon or a light blue.  _ “It brings out your eyes, babe”. _

         The bartender who quickly recognized him, by the way he sadly nodded, glancing behind Ben to see if anyone was behind him.  _ Caleb was not with him. _ Ben almost said it out loud when the bartender arrived with his drink, setting it down in front of him. Ben didn’t touch it. 

____________________

 

         Caleb tugged at Ben’s reluctant sleeve, nagging, “C’mon, come dance with me, Benny” he whined, hopping down from his own barstool and attempting to pull Ben off his chair. Ben sipped from his cup, sighing before setting the half full glass down on the counter and tossing a twenty at the bartender who grinned somely at the generous tip. 

         He followed the tight grip Caleb had locked onto his wrist, tugging Ben onto the dance floor, just as a light rock tuned slow song began to filter out of the speakers. Most of the dancers who were previously jamming out, disgruntled at the sudden change in tempo and exiting the dance floor to grab another drink and the now busy counter. The floor was bare, paling in comparison to the way it had once been a few minutes ago. 

         Ben didn’t not know what to do, and stood towering over Caleb at a whopping 6’0. Caleb a meek comparison, topped at around 5’7. Ben rubbed the back of his arm nervously, feeling the hairs on his arms stand up as if he were cold, but the sweat around his collarbone spoke otherwise. The side of his eye watched a young blonde and three dark haired men occupy their seats at the bar, he continued to watch in the corner of his vision to make sure she was alright. 

         Taking the lead, Caleb curved a hand around Ben’s hip, cradling it in his grasp. Manipulating Ben’s stance with the heat pressed into the pads of his fingers. Caleb was holding back laughter as the corners of his eyes crinkled with love, tapping his foot impatiently in time with the snare drum. “Put your hand on my shoulder” he commanded, and Ben obeyed, placing a hand on his shoulder, holding it in place. Caleb held up his hand and reassuringly stared into Ben’s eyes, “Now, take my hand”. 

        They always lost it in each others eyes. Ben who’s very eyes held the world in it’s watch, the shorter bearded one always found himself drowning in them. The taller of the two watched Caleb with so much admiration you’d think he was looking at the single greatest thing in the world. Caleb was the single greatest thing in the entire world. His eyes were like thick sap, amber from trees rooted from soil in the forest. 

         Ben felt slightly confused, and Caleb twisted his hand mid air, trying to make himself noticeable. Ben soon noticed his hand, and stuttered before grabbing hold of Caleb’s hand intertwining their fingers together. Lacing them, they fit together like perfect puzzle pieces. 

         Caleb took the hand that was located on his hip and circulated his joint, in an attempt to loosen up Ben’s stiff and awkward spine posture. “Come on, Benny boy”, Caleb edged him on, standing right beneath Ben’s chin, Ben chewed the inside of his mouth and Caleb changed the hand on Ben’s hip slipping down to his ass.

         He pulled them closer until they were in complete contact. Caleb’s chest pressed up against Ben’s stomach the height difference made obviously clear as Caleb had to tilt his head all the way back to meet Ben’s face. 

         Caleb grinned, taking the hand off of his hip and relocating it on Ben’s chest, skimming his fingertips over him, wishing he didn’t have it on or anything on for that matter. “Ben, I didn’t know you were such a terrible dancer” Caleb chuckled, and Ben’s face lit up red as he accidentally stepped on Caleb’s shoes. Caleb winced but played it off by squeezing Ben’s laced tighter in a grip of iron. The red on the paler was quite obvious now. Embarrassment seeping him.

         Ben pressed his lips into a firm line and furrowed his eyebrows. Caleb looked a little guilty and looked away from Ben. “Oh really?” Ben challenged, something ignited inside of him, this caused the bushy eyebrows of the bearded to knit together at the center of his forehead, “I’m a bad dancer” he rolled his eyes and removed his arm from his shoulder, placing it wrapped around the middle of Caleb’s back. 

          Caleb looked up from their shoes, and a glint of confusion plastered into his facial features. In a flurry of quick confusion, Ben took lead, shifting his hand from Caleb’s back to his waist, moving him along. Caleb stopped moving his legs to the beat and simply allowed Ben’s feet to guide them both. 

          Caleb sucked in a sharp inhale of air and kept the breath firmly pressed behind his lips. Ben remembered the way the song in the background seemed to glint across Caleb’s eyes. His brown eyes turned to song, his facial expressions were singing. 

         The song across Caleb’s eyes was their beat and melody one that Ben led and he pulled Caleb across the dance floor their bodies moved in sync with Caleb’s symphony. Ben didn’t take his eyes off of Caleb’s eyes for a even a second, spinning him around as Caleb lightly giggled. 

         There was a break in the singer's voice, the guitar trailed off and simply molded into the air. The echo of the tune disappeared, and the music in the air became still. When Ben and Caleb finally came to their senses, Ben blinked, his long eyelashes fluttered lightly. 

          Their foreheads pressed against one anothers, their noses connected together, their lips lightly brushed against one another's but did not collide. They simply didn’t move. Staying in the same position. Caleb’s back twitched as Ben held him up with one arm, he was tipped back his back low enough almost to be touching the floor. 

         It was the hair. Caleb’s head tipped back almost towards the ground, and when Ben’s eyes traced the glistening wrinkles rooting themselves at the corners of Caleb’s eyes. They criss-crossed each other when his eyes lit up, or when he smiled beautiful. 

          Ben’s panted, breathing in and out, trying to slow his breathing. From his ringled braid at the base of his neck, strands of his golden locks, his honey colored hair dislodged from his braid. The loose ringlets of soft hair twisted it’s way in front of Benjamin’s eyes. Caleb’s eyes didn’t have to gaze at Ben’s lips to know where to place his own. He had already memorized his face, the majestic curve of his lips, the adorable dimples on his cheeks.  

  
          When Ben and Caleb pulled away, Caleb chuckled, slacking his neck and putting a hand on the back of Ben’s neck, pulling the dark green ribbon from Ben’s hair. “You know you can let me up now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize for how terrible this chapter is, I actually I'm super disgusted by this chapter, I hope you all can forgive me. I really lost it on this chapter. Next chapter will be better. Hit me up on Tumblr @sonofhistory, if you'd like. I'm a history buff so come talk history with me.


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